12 Signs You’re a Spring Hill Kid

1. You know the pink dinosaur on U.S. 19 actually has a name and it’s Milgred


2. You’ve been kicked out of Greek City Cafe more times than you can count


3. You used to ride your bike up to the fence along side of the primate reserve off of County Line and flash your genitals at the silverback gorilla as a sign of dominance


4. Your grandparents were the first members of your family to move here and they’re probably all dead now


5. You remember the time in seventh grade Charles Billings wasn’t listening to Coach Cooke and his dad came and spanked him in front of everyone during gym class


6. There are empty or unfinished houses on either side of you because, you know, Spring Hill


7. You immediately know what someone is talking about when they say they killed a fox squirrel


8. You shake your head when you hear people in other cities miss multiple days of school after falling into a sinkhole


9. You saw people you love lose everything in the great sweepstakes boom of 2011


10. Blaise Ingoglia has bought and sold your family multiple times


11. You know how to ride a manatee and get away with it


12. You know at least three girls who have had bikini modeling websites


Frank Fencil

Frank Fencil is an award-winning journalist with more than two decades' experience. He has uncovered government corruption, toppled dirty police forces and covered two foreign wars as an international correspondent. He chose to return to his native Spring Hill in hopes of giving his hometown the quality watchdog journalism it deserves.

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