Pro-JNCO activists now protesting at site of Six Flags in Spring Hill
By Frank Fencil | firstname.lastname@example.org
WEEKI WACHEE, Florida — A group of pro-JNCO protesters stormed the site of the new Six Flags and lobbed a litany of charges at contractors working the site, including that their pilfering of the jeans is depleting a historic site and that by wearing the pants they are appropriating rave culture.
The activists carried signs with slogans like “Sux Flags” and climbed fences to march and disrupt construction where just a day before workers unearthed a two-acre landfill containing tens of thousands of pairs of JNCO jeans produced and then buried in 1997 in a failed promotion for the movie “Spawn.”
“JNCO jeans were made with the fabric of our pasts and the landfill is full of the seeds we have sewn,” said Sean Moriarty, one of the more than two dozen protesters who showed up in impractically flared jeans, many wearing facepaint or swinging glowing poi balls. “We here to reap our JNCO preserve.”
The protesters have petitioned the county to halt all construction on Six Flags, which is scheduled to open in early 2016, and have asked Gov. Rick Scott to declare the tract of land a protected historical site.
Construction crew members said they have enjoyed the nostalgic thrill of wearing JNCOs again but that the protesters are now costing them valuable time.
“These kids are just fishnet-fisted, government-assisted slobs,” foreman Michael LaMagno said. “They need to grow up and realize that they don’t own every half-rotten thing that gets dug up just because they’re goths. You want JNCOs? Get a job and to go Gulf View Square Mall like everyone else.”