First baby conceived in B.B. McGee’s bathroom now old enough to drive
By Frank Fencil | firstname.lastname@example.org
SPRING HILL, Florida — Dave Ellison admits he’s not great with numbers but he says a smart man could have taken the 75 cents he pocketed by not buying a condom in the summer of 1998 and, through a series of savvy investments, turned it into enough to score some new wheels for his daughter’s 16th birthday.
Instead, Ellison recently forked over half of a paycheck to a man he met on Craigslist just an hour before in exchange for a 2002 Chevy Impala for his daughter’s 16th birthday.
“Anything for my baby, right?” Ellison said. “She’s something special.”
More than some know.
Born Feb. 24, 1999, S’dney Ellison is now the first child conceived in the men’s room at the County Line fixture, then known as Miller’s, to reach driving age, signaling an oncoming boom of 16-year-old “B.B.’s Kids” who will soon begin terrorizing Hernando County roads in $400 deathtraps like S’dney’s.
A humble S’dney downplayed her own place in Nature Coast history.
“I hate that my dad talks about it every time we drive past the place,” the Springstead sophomore said. “Clenchfist was playing their first show there, the place next door still rented VHS porn. OK, I get it, big deal. So gross.”
Dave Ellison said that fateful night almost played out very differently. He and his best friend, locally known as Freaky J, first tried to meet up with a different set of girls at Bubba’s on 19 and Forest Oaks. But the cover was $10, far more than any in the party was willing to pay. So they drove across town to the cover-free B.B. McGee’s, where he bumped into his ex-girlfriend, and now wife of six years, Shannon.
Within 30 minutes, the lip-locked lovers had clamored into the men’s room, shooed out someone using the toilet by throwing a full bottle of Red Dog at him and created a life right there on the same countertop that exists today.
“To think, that $10 could have changed my whole life,” Dave Ellison said, staring right through this reporter.
“Just $10, you know?” he asked, trailing off and beginning to sob quietly into his hands, presumably with joy over how blessed and grateful he is for his daughter.
Some locally are less enthused about S’dney and the B.B.’s Kids coming of age.
Hernando County leaders are concerned about safety as the wave of B.B.’s Kids reaches driving age. School district testing shows students conceived at B.B.’s have significantly lower test scores and are often violent and unpredictable.
“We’re very fearful of what’s about to happen, to the point that we have lobbied the governor’s office to sign an emergency bill that would raise the driving age in Hernando to 22,” Hernando County public safety spokeswoman Melanie Gillwrath said. “The parents in these homes have shown time and again they make poor decisions, and it’s clearly reflected in their children’s behaviors. Please, God, keep them off our roads.”