Sheriff Nienhuis: Please stop calling us about scary clouds
By Frank Fencil | firstname.lastname@example.org
SPRING HILL, Florida — From creepy cumulonimbus to freaky fog, Hernando County Sheriff Al Nienhuis says he’s heard from concerned citizens about them all — and he is not on Cloud 9 about it.
In fact, the recent influx of 911 calls on the topic led Nienhuis to call a news conference in which he urged Hernando County citizens to think twice before calling authorities about what they see in the sky.
“All these scary cloud calls we’re getting lately have put so much undue pressure on our already stressed emergency response crews,” Nienhuis said. “You guys have got to stop. Keep these posts to Facebook. If you see a scary cloud, just post it on Facbeook and probably in 90 seconds someone you know will ultimately link to the Tampa Bay Times article explaining that it was just a rocket launch or an incoming weather front.”
Nienhuis said 911 should be reserved for emergencies only and that he struggled to imagine a scenario in which something in the sky would warrant such a call.
“What if you’re right and it is the apocalypse or God coming back to smite us or aliens?” Nienhuis asked. “You think my crew is equipped to fight aliens or a vengeful god who controls the sky? No, we’ll be at home kissing our kids goodbye just like you should be in that scenario. Get off our phone lines.”
Nienhuis said the HCSO’s chemtrail line will remain operational.