Coyotes overrun Six Flags construction site, chase away developers
By Frank Fencil | firstname.lastname@example.org
The latest theme park developments will really throw you for a loop.
Packs of bloodthirsty coyotes overran the Six Flags Spring Hill construction site this morning, sending construction workers, engineers and executives running off the property and seeking safety.
The park, slated to open in 2018, was ahead of schedule until the canines took over the facility. As many as 20 people have been hospitalized and several are still missing and presumed dead, authorities said.
“It was a mad house in there,” said one of the many engineers who took refuge at the nearby Pickled Parrot. “We started hearing howls about 9 a.m. and within 15 minutes there was just blood everywhere, chaos, and the park was theirs.”
Six Flags CEO Will Feinstein could not be reached for comment, but his office released a statement that read, in part, “Our blood has been spilled, but it will be the coyotes whose blood will fertilize our butterfly garden exhibit. They will rue the day they decided to come for us, because as I’ve said, nothing can stop Six Flags from building in Hernando County.”