Hernando County planners envision Kass Circle’s future as dystopian digital nightmare
Frank Fencil | firstname.lastname@example.org
SPRING HILL, Florida — The Hernando County Planning Board released a video this week that offers up a frightening vision of the potential future of Kass Circle, a hub of local culture.
In the one minute and 43 second clip, humans are shown replaced by digital avatars. As our three-dimensional representations walk from government-owned shop to government-owned shop to spend their lives enslaved by a false currency and bullied into buying things they do not need but are only told to want, we will no doubt be sitting in a pool of body-temperature gel, our husks in a drug induced coma merely fantasizing about walking outside — that is, if we as a species can even remember reality.
Much like the the prisoners at Auschwitz subverted their Nazi overlords in an act of passive-aggressive defiance meant to show that the human spirit may still live on by using an upside-down B in the sign above the entrance, this video’s animator created a clock with the short hand too far past 4 to accurately match the minute hand (seen at the video’s 0:17 mark). Pointing this out may put the animator’s life at risk, but it’s an important point to make, as well as the last sign from another human that something is seriously amiss in this world.
At 0:22, a man can be seen sitting on a bench reading what appears to be a newspaper. Is this the planners’ way of reassuring us there will continue to be a free press? They doth protest too much, methinks. What this says for the future of the Spring Hill Courier and other local independent media outlets should make each of you tremble.
The 0:38 mark brings us a stifling message about the future of free enterprise in this authoritarian government. The name Marko’s can be seen on an awning adorning a large building with a largely glass facade. This is almost certainly an allusion to the Marco’s Pizza on Spring Hill Drive near Anderson Snow Road. Is this the planners’ way of hinting that corporate chains will continue to propagate into the heart of locally owned commerce? And could the misspelling be an allegory for how the government is re-writing the way businesses operate under the future regime?
In the same scene, it’s clear that Hernando County officials envision a future filled with self-driving cars, as neither the passenger vehicles nor the bus appear to have a human driver. More frightening is the fact that dozens of avatars are seen milling about on foot, but not a single one is on the bus, a clear sign that transportation will be available only to the elite in this disturbing fantasy world.
At 0:44 we are given a glimpse of what could become of the eastern half of the plaza. Note that a the blueprint has a spot for Coopers, a word used for barrel makers. Is this a hint that we will be forced to use large vessels to catch rain water because the government can no longer be trusted to provide it?
It’s also noteworthy that the county plans to replace Save-A-Lot’s presence, though not its physical location, with a generic Grocery Store, where we will presumably be forced to buy similarly generic, Soviet-era foods at a dictated price rather than enjoy the competitive pricing structure and sales offered by the free market. The fact that there are only four cars in the parking lot leads one to believe that shopping is no longer a pleasurable activity and that human employees may be replaced by robots that simply shut down at night rather than drive home to spend time with their families.
The Health Club next to the Grocery Store is likely to be less of a club and more of a mandatory work camp, where we’ll likely be forced to go through rigorous training to reach a physical condition that satisfies those running what will no doubt be running the mandatory military service requirements we’re headed for.
Not much further into the video, at 0:49, we can see a man and a woman sitting at a picnic table. Notice the width of the table. The two appear to be sitting five or six feet apart, symbolizing the chasm our personal relationships will be facing when we turn into computer avatars. The passer-by’s gray hue is symbolic of how lifeless this future world truly is without love.
This shot then shows us a pair of cars parked along the curb. Typically, a no-parking zone would be constructed and blocked off for a fire lane. However, this horrid future is so well-controlled by the powers that be that even accidental fires are a thing of the past.
The 1:03 mark sees the camera pan across a road to a row of shelters, where despondent pedestrians wait for a bus — like the one we see driving away without a driver or a single passenger. This is further proof wheeled transportation will be made available only for the super wealthy ruling class.
At 1:09 a sharp eye will notice a large bridge along the northwestern horizon. This is horrifying sight because it can only mean that the government has diverted the flow of Weeki Wachee Springs to the opposite direction. One can surmise this is most likely done to swiftly quell a rebellion by flooding Hog Pond, driving out the more nimble of the agitated Timber Pines residents and drowning the rest.
Alternatively, this could be a shot of one of the many enjoyable roller coasters at the site of the new Six Flags, though it’s still likely government engineers will have flooded Timber Pines.
This same shot depicts an even more monotonous version of suburbia in which all homes are painted a uniform white. It is possible this is also being done to combat the extraordinary heat and radiation that will be raining down upon us through holes in the ozone layer.
The Family Doctor office that can be seen at 1:16 is glimpse of the future of our medical system: We will have one option for all, Hernando County planners are telling us.
If there was any doubt left in your mind that the video’s makers are ushering an era of oppressive, dictatorial rule, look no further than 1:18, where one can see Karl’s Cafe, a clear nod to Karl Marx, the father of modern communism.
The 1:19 mark brings to light another harsh reality when you realize that one sign cannot fully be read: Pet Sto. Sure, it could read Pet Store. But it could also be Pet Stop. Is it a sign that we will no longer be allowed to keep companion animals? Were they simply too hard to program into accepting this horrible digital landscape as their new reality? You decide.
At 1:29 we get the first overview of the planned redevelopment. It appears the longstanding Hungry Howie’s building will be the only thing left nearly untouched. Throughout the video, it is depicted as a white building with no clear entrance, exit or signage, almost like a crypt. Either way, it’s clear it is one of the few spots on the map the planners have not yet doomed along with the building in the northeast corner that has long housed Pinch-A-Penny and Tony’s Barber Shop.
Another striking change is the amphitheater that will be built between the plaza’s eastern and western halves, presumably as a spot for government officials to hand down marching orders or hold jingoistic rallies.