JNCO landfill unearthed at Six Flags construction site
By Frank Fencil | firstname.lastname@example.org
WEEKI WACHEE, Florida — Construction workers looking to lay down some pipes found some instead.
Six Flags contractors say they stumbled upon a two-acre landfill made entirely of JNCO-brand jeans this week while working on the theme park’s site just north of U.S. 19 and Highway 50.
“Rhinos, Kangaroos, 40-inchers, they’re all here,” said Leonard Spindo, a construction worker on the site. “Me and the boys started jumpin’ in the hole, pulling them out and loading up our trucks. There are thousands and thousands of pairs. When we go out on Friday after work, Amnesia is going to look like 1997.”
A source in the county planning office explained the pants were part of a failed prototyping process JNCO engaged in as a promotion for the movie “Spawn.”
“JNCO took their best designer and gave him three weeks to make the perfect pair of pants to go with the movie’s soundtrack, which featured bands like Filter and Marilyn Manson,” Hernando County assistant planning coordinator Shelly Brall said. “The product ended up looking nothing like Spawn, and the bottoms were only 24 inches wide when JNCO had already upped the ante with the 40-inch bottoms they produced to support Sublime’s ‘40 oz. to Freedom.’ They just didn’t appeal to fans of the Spawn character, so JNCO had to dump all of these styles it had linked to the movie.
“The only option was to bury them, and it opened the door to the wide-leg jean crash of 1998.”
It was not immediately clear who held the legal right to the jeans. Brall said the county has a claim, though a representative from Six Flags said they had not considered turning them over and that they may become part of the park’s 1990s-era rollercoaster motif.